Move along...nothing to see here.

Sometimes insomnia can be fun. This morning I woke up around 4:00. After waking Lucy the cat for no reason (hey, he does it to me all the time) and reading Kelly 2.0's MySpace Ballistic Bulletin Rant, I flipped on the tele.

I know KPHO Channel 5 starts doing news at 4:30am so I figured why not see if the malls in Omaha were still safe and secure (why people yak about big city crime when these "high-valued" Midwestern communities turn into arcade shooting galleries is curious). I didn't pay close attention until 4:31 when they went to their traffic center with a traffic person in front of a special traffic map to talk about...traffic. At 4:31am. Laughing by myself with a yet unamused but awake cat at all the green arrows as said traffic person covered all the area freeways. At 4:31am. In a somewhat failing effort to justify her existence she did happen to mention an off ramp stall or something before tossing it back to the dueling anchors. Then, like Groundhog Day, they brought her back at 4:36am. 5 minutes later. What do you suppose happened on the freeways of Phoenix between 4:31 and 4:36am? Well, as the traffic specialist confidently explained in front of her map of green arrows, nothing.

I suppose the folks at Channel 5 think that if they have a traffic person with green arrowed traffic maps at 4:30am viewers might see them as "the news team to watch". I think of them as "the news team with absolutely nothing better to offer so we'll waste time doing this".

All is not lost, I fell asleep before all roadway hell broke loose at 4:41am (I can only assume).

KPHO = 1, Lunesta = 0